Happy New Year

Hello friends!

After a long period of silence I am writing from Panama with an update on D.D.H.   Prior to this post, we were so unbelievably busy and things happening around Dan's recovery were kind of status quo - moving more slowly now that he's plateau'd.  So I put the blog on the back burner and decided to resume once my head cleared a bit.  So here I am!

It is New Year's Eve Day.  We left rainy, cold Seattle in the wee hours of December 15 and have been in Panama on Isla Taboga since the 16th.  Sun, warmth, salt water swimming, pool swimming, sleep, good food, rest...  The best prescription of all and we are loving it.

La Playa

Sarah & Julia were with us for 2 weeks and left just a few days ago.  We had Christmas together and spent some sweet moments of gratitude and cozy family time together.  Our Christmas was simple, Julia's 20th birthday celebrated Taboga style.  Right now, I am sitting in our kitchen, looking out at a view of the water with huge ships in the distance making their way to and from the Pacific side of THE canal.

View from our bedroom

Our days are typically like this:  We wake up, Dan makes coffee while I lounge in bed a bit longer.  We drink coffee on our patio and wake up slowly.  I do a little yoga, a little writing either before or after.  Dan chats with other folks in our complex of 7 condos - nice people all and good friends.  Then we putter around fixing things up, working on projects.  It is very therapeutic for Dan whose brain injury is still quite apparent to me in the way he processes things.  It takes longer and he relies heavily on the A.B.O.D.E. system he learned in cognitive therapy class.  Basically, he is working on rewiring his brain as it heals by using this system and the projects he is doing down here are perfect for that.

He also goes into the pool every day and does his exercises using water as resistance.  Kevin gave Dan some aqua dumb-bells which we filled up and he is using those as well to keep his strength up and protect the still-injured and sore parts of his body.

One ongoing problem is his numb foot and leg.  He goes up and down stairs like an old man and has trouble feeling the road.  One day he went off the edge of the sidewalk and nearly turned his ankle because he just couldn't feel the edge.

So - we are taking it slow and easy and making rest and healing our main priority.

This trip has been as essential for me as it has been healing for Dan.  I am slowly finding my way back to my center and allowing myself to do nothing all day long if that's what ends up feeling right.  Honestly, it is too hot in the middle of the day for much else.  Siestas definitely make sense - and Dan usually takes a good long nap in the afternoon.  Me, I sit on the patio, drink a beer, skype or write or read.

We have three weeks left and I can only imagine that it's going to get even better and the healing - at least emotional healing - will grow roots.  Deep roots.

In the meanwhile, we are ready to bid farewell to 2011 and welcome in 2012.  Dan is very happy to put the year behind him.  And we are  grateful to have all that we have to anticipate in 2012.  Especially an intact family and a functioning Dan.

I'll write more as I can.  But for now - time for a walk to the beach and the healing waters of Taboga!

Love,

Irene

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's Monday morning.  Dan is at Physical Therapy, I dropped him off and then went to the gym.  Now I'm on the boat waiting for him to call so that I can meet him where ever his bus drops him off and then we can continue on with errands and the day's projects.

Mondays are my day off from work so I try to help Dan get things done that he wants to do but can't because of his driving restriction.  It's forcing us to be organized and purposeful with our free time.  We have settled into a new way of being - a new "normal."

Dan still has therapy 4-5 times a week (Physical and Cognitive).  He is able to take the bus to most appointments.  I am working really hard now - so busy at work around the holidays.  Then we collapse on the weekends - but just for a bit.  Saturday usually begins with our morning ritual of talking for a couple of hours over strong coffee.  Then we do errands, drop off laundry and anything that might come up on our "to do" list.

That list is pretty long right now because of a pending trip down to Panama.  We leave on 12/15 and will be there until 1/22.  OK - put those jealous, hateful thoughts out of your head.  We had this planned way before the accident - but just 2-3 weeks.  Then, when we lost our summer vacation following the accident, decided to tack it on to this trip.  We have the blessings of Dan's doctors AS LONG AS he promises to keep up with his daily therapies while he is down there.  (He does - in fact he is the one asking for a full regimen of instructions and exercises that he can track.  And I'll be sure he does.)  The warmth (as opposed to icy, slippery docks) and stimulation (a different culture and language, which we will be learning) will be good for his body and brain.  His therapists agree.

There is someone else in this equation as well.  ME.  I am so tired that I can't get rid of the heavy fatigue feeling that plagues me constantly now.  I plow through it just as we all did when our kids were tiny - but it doesn't lift and I am convinced that I need a long recuperation from the emotional, physical, organizational, mental strains of the last 4 months.  So we're off!

Sarah & Julia will be with us for 2 weeks so we will celebrate Christmas and Julia's 20th birthday together.  This is their first time down there so it will be very special, indeed.

I'm sorry to have been such an absent blogger of late but we have been busy and - yes - tired.

Our new "normal" is very much tied into Dan's accident/injuries/recovery - but then again, we do have long stretches of just doing stuff and living our lives that are acutely noticeable and make me feel hopeful.  Ain't that great!

Still no driving or working for Dan.  Still hurting from certain physical injuries - and - he has a way to go for his brain healing.  But we are positive and keep our eyes forward.

Happy Thanksgiving to all our friends and family.  (15 weeks since the accident on Thanksgiving Day.)  We have so much to be grateful for this year.  So much.

Love to you all.

Irene

10 WEEKS TODAY

Hello friends!  I'm back!  Sorry for the hiatus in writing...

Here's the latest as we hit the 10 week mark.  Our life pretty much goes this way now...

Each week, Dan goes to a combination of Physical, Occupational and Speech Therapy sessions.  He also has 2 "classes" a week - one a cognitive therapy class and the other a neuro psych group.  He is being extremely cooperative and dedicated to his therapies.

A couple of weeks ago, he had a comprehensive neuro-psych evaluation in which he scored highly  in certain areas (yay Dan!) but alarmingly low in others.  His neuro doctor told him, after this eval, not to drive or work for some time yet.  He wants to do another evaluation in February.  So we're in it for quite some time yet.  I am very content being the chauffeur, especially when I think about the alternative.  And Dan is becoming adept at the bus system in Seattle, making his way to the hospital when I am working and our schedules don't align.

Physically, there is still pain in his rib areas.   Soft tissue around the broken ribs will be a problem for a while.  Also, there are new aches and pains popping up as he compensates, loses muscle tone, etc.  So as one thing may start to feel better another becomes a problem.  We are working to get answers and figure our way in, around and through the system to optimize Dan's time and therapy.  It's complex and has not quite let up yet.  But we are positive and optimistic  and more than willing to do the work this will take to get Dan back to where he was before August 11.  Dan very much wants to get his body back and be able to do what he used to do.

Work is picking up for me and I am getting busier by the day.  This is typical for this time of year.  I'm feeling quite weary but making sure to use the weekends to rest.  Hanging in there until we can take a vacation in December!  Meanwhile, looking for a little weekend retreat sometime soon...

It's been 10 weeks.  2+ months.  70 days.  None of those numbers seem huge when I think what happened to Dan. 

A couple of nights ago, I met a friend for a drink.  She was about a half hour late so I ordered a beer and sat and waited, watching the sun go down and feeling the quiet, the stillness wrap itself around me.   People were talking and laughing but not at my table....    I was alone and completely content to be so.  I thought about Dan and how glad I was that he was just down the road on the boat.  And I felt a wave of fatigue waft over me. It was almost a relief in a weird sort of way because it was so true, so uncomplicated, so lacking in any distractions.  Just plain tired.

But we are resilient and determined.

Hope to see some or all of you very soon!

Love,

Irene

DAN GETS A PEDICURE!

I never thought I'd see this day.

Pedicures have always been the mysterious realm of the females in our family.  Mysterious to Dan, that is.  The girls and I occasionally treat ourselves to an hour of foot care, coming home with sparkly toes and soft skin from the knees down.  Dan may or may not have understood what we did there, but he did understand that when we came back we were happy and relaxed and so he just accepted it.

Last week Dan mentioned that he is having trouble with one aspect of self-care.  He can shave, he can shower, he can take care of most things.   But his toes and feet are being neglected.  "I can't trim my toenails because my ribs hurt too much to bend over," he said.   Plus when he bends over in certain directions, he gets really dizzy and is in danger of falling.

SO.  I suggested we go get a pedicure together.  He didn't say yes, but he didn't say no.   Our brother-in-law, Daniel, is from Brazil and it is common for men there to get manicures and pedicures.  It is normal, manly, and just a part of their culture.  And he is one of the manliest guys we know.

A few days later, he brought it up.  "Let's do it," he said.  So I made an appointment and, yesterday, at 3:00 we went to a nail salon in Ballard and sat side by side in the chairs while lovely ladies tended to us.  We didn't read trashy magazines or talk about recipes.  We just sat there in silence while the ladies trimmed, cleaned, massaged, scrubbed, even gave a hot stone treatment.  I glanced over at Dan a few times and he was staring out the window in complete ecstasy.

Oddly enough, there were other guys in there.  At one point, of the four chairs available, three were occupied by members of the male species.  I was the only female.   Weird.  I guess our secret is out - pedicures rock.

Dan said not only did his feet feel clean and cared for but his numb right foot enjoyed the massage and circulation that no doubt occurred as a result.

Damn.  I guess this is no longer just "me" time anymore.  Ah well.  When Dan started asking about J-lo and Mark,  Jenn and Brad and Angie, and who the hell the Kardashians are, I was worried.  But when he started asking about cut and colors and waxing I got downright scared.

Hmmmm....  ladies....  help me out here....

7 WEEKS

Hi everyone...

I can't believe another week has gone by since my last post.  But when I think about what transpired during the last couple of weeks I guess it makes sense.

Between Dan's appointments, my work and helping Julia move, it's been non-stop for 2 weeks.  Today is my first day off since the 18th.  And - day "off" is merely a figure of speech!  We have things to do today - but we can do them at our own pace.

Dan continues going to his appointments regularly. 2-3 days a week.   We have been arranging my work schedule around his appointments so that I can transport him.  I have flexibility at work and again, it's wonderful that he is being treated where I work.  Makes life a lot less complicated to be sure. 

Yesterday he only had two appointments - late morning and early afternoon,  and so that I didn't have to leave work or go in late, he rode the bus (including a transfer) on his own yesterday.  That's progress!  I feel somewhat freed up knowing that he can do that if necessary.

I worked all week last week (M-F) and then over the weekend worked HARD with Julia both days moving her into her new apartment.  You know how that goes.  I was remembering my first apartment in NYC - some of you have been there - and remembering how it was to move in.  But I didn't have to worry about my back or my knees back then (!).  And I didn't fall into bed feeling like I had been hit by a truck at the end of the day.

It was a wonderful weekend - happy to see Julia flapping her wings.  We both missed Dan who would have been lending his muscle to the weekend but we did it.  Picked up furniture from friends who were cleaning out, took things out of our storage unit which is now amazingly empty, went to Goodwill for the rest. 

Then, on Monday, we were back at the hospital for Dan who had 3 appointments and I worked while he was there, putting in a full day.  Then, worked Tuesday, Weds, Thursday.  Sometime Tuesday night I started getting dizzy as I turned over in bed.  The room was spinning like crazy, making me feel nauseated on top of it, but I couldn't get out of bed because of the spins.  I have had low-grade to severe dizziness ever since.  I feel completely exhausted.  I think it's just all catching up with me. 

So I'm home today taking it easy.  Slept last night from 9:30 to 10 this morning (after a nap when I got home!).  Today we have a few things to do but I am determined to rest.  It's gorgeous - sunny, clear, fall day.  I want to go sit on the beach, walk - if I don't get too dizzy - eat out, etc.  Just take a little vacation.

Dan is on board with it.  He knows that I have hit the wall.

But on the whole, life is good.  We are grateful for Dan's progress and the care he is getting.  Grateful for our daughters' success.  Sarah is working on the next phase of her life and Julia is very busy and happy in school getting her CNA and enjoying "nesting" in her first solo living situation.  We are, as always, grateful for our family and friends and all that has surrounded us and held us up during these past 7 weeks.

I want to write thank you notes - this is the longest I've ever gone without responding in writing to those who have done so much for us.  It's humbling.  I have forgotten - or not been able to acknowledge birthdays. But I am thinking of you all and again, so, so grateful. 

I guess I'm not superwoman after all...

:)

Irene

SIX WEEKS TODAY!

When I tell people it's been 6 weeks since the accident, some say "wow!  that was fast!"  I know what they mean. At times, even to me, it feels impossible that six weeks have passed.  But what I really want to say is, "Sez you..."  It's been a very long six weeks.  And we are now in that phase where we are looking ahead and see only more appointments, more therapy, a long, slow road to that full recovery they predicted way back when. 

Dan is doing okay.  His physical injuries are still plaguing him.  A couple of days ago, for the first time in this whole ordeal, he said "I'm tired of being in pain."  It's the first time he's even come close to complaining.  I can't imagine living with pain 24/7 for 6 weeks, can you?  Maybe some of you do and therefore have a better sense of what this is like for Dan.  But it's easy for those of us around him to forget that just because life is beginning to feel settled in some ways, that doesn't mean that Dan is back to normal.  Far from it.  Other symptoms have cropped up and we are trying to figure out what has caused them and what to do about them.  

It's really important to be an advocate for a loved one in the hospital or dealing with a severe injury or  illness.  There are so many things that can slip through the cracks or get miscommunicated.  A notebook and careful attention is required during any appointment or meeting that you can attend. It's key to work as a member of the team along with doctors, nurses, therapists.  It's a group effort bringing the patient back to his or her best.  It really is.  I don't feel in any way adversarial - just that it is critical to be on your toes at all times.  It can be exhausting, but it is necessary.

Tim (Dan's brother) is visiting this week.  It's so good to have him here!  Dan and his siblings lost their mother a couple of years ago so, on that side of the family, it's just the siblings left.  I think Dan's accident was a wake up call for a lot of people as to how precious this all is.  Tim and Dan are hanging out while I'm at work and later today they are coming over for Dan's therapies.  I'll see them in between work stuff and then we'll all leave a bit early today so I can get them back to the marina when Dan is finished.  Again, it's good to have Tim here.  No agenda, no plans, just two brothers hanging out together.  When does that happen anymore??!!

Julia started school yesterday so she is now officially off duty.  Her prime responsibility is to focus on a very demanding quarter - 20 credits! - at the end of which she will be a Certified Nursing Assistant.  She is very excited about this and very organized.  I see a determination in her that I haven't seen in a while.   This morning, when we were trying to figure out rides later on, Dan wondered if Julia could help out.  The answer?  "No!"  She's no longer available to us and we are going to miss that...  she has spoiled us with her devotion, but now it's her turn.  Go, Julia, Go!

That's it for now.  Life is good.  Life is precious.  I'll keep you posted as I can and as there are things to report.  For now, the plateau reigns supreme.....  Happy Hour anyone?

Love,

Irene

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DAN

Dan's birthday was yesterday. September 19th.  He is 63 years old and we celebrated in a big way.  By BIG I don't mean a rip-roaring, wild celebration until the wee hours.  I just mean we acknowledged how glad, how grateful, how humbled we are to be able to celebrate this birthday with Dan.  It could have been a very different sort of day.

Dan & I had a sweet morning together over coffee.  The weather was glorious - a warm, sunny fall day.  The kind of day where you know it's not summer - the light is autumnal, the sun is gently warm, but a coat is unnecessary.  Perfect.  Dan had two therapy appointments which we went to together - or, rather, he went to and I put in a few hours work since I was there.

We had dinner at Aileen's (my sister) apartment.  She and Daniel are in Brazil so we had their place at our disposal.  Just the four of us and Dan's brother, Kevin.  It was quiet and sweet and we were so happy to say...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAN!

5 Weeks and Counting!

Well, today marks 5 weeks since the accident.  It is such a weird time warp to think that 5 weeks have gone by.  It seems like such a blip on the screen, and yet when I think of those first few days in the ER and ICU, it is ages ago.

We are learning a lot about patience right now.  They said their would be plateaus and it seems that we are on one.  I think the main thing to wait for in the short term is the rib pain to abate.  It just HURTS all the time.  Particularly the 3 ribs that are broken in the front (as opposed to the 3 in the back).  Once the pain lets up, he will, hopefully, be less tired and less debilitated physically.  We were told 6 weeks.  Some say 8.  I'm shooting for 6 which would mean this time next week he'll be reporting a dramatic change in pain level. 

It also seems that as one thing gets better, something else crops up or gets worse.  So it's kind of a seesaw right now.  But we are content and grateful to be riding it as opposed to other, worse alternatives.

Dan's birthday is Monday.  It may not be rip-roaring, but you can bet there will be some serious celebrating in this family.  I may even bake a cake.  Chocolate Decadence anyone?

Today we came home after Dan's therapies (my boss kicked me out of the office to go play with Dan).  We got to the boat, Dan stretched out up forward and slept for a while, and I laid on the couch and read the paper while Julia bustled around, cooking and doing stuff.  I realized that it was the first time in weeks that we have just hung out like that with nothing pressing.  Every time I thought of something I needed to do, I put it out of my mind and just wrapped myself deeper in the cocoon, relaxing and enjoying the late afternoon light and the quiet. 

Nice way to mark the end of the 5th week. 

Love,

Irene

One Month - How Time Flies

Thursday marked one month since the accident.  Hard to believe...

There is less and less to report and we are really settling into a rhythm of appointments.  This past week they upgraded the schedule, adding more appointments, more days to his rehab.  There have been a few setbacks - new (?) symptoms -  which we are waiting to hear more about.  But lots of forward motion as well.

Dan has lost a lot of weight.  People are noticing and commenting on it.  He's gonna have to work hard to bulk up when his ribs heal.  Meanwhile, full fat milk, ice cream, anything he wants to eat - which he's always been able to do and not gain weight.  He keeps fit mostly by working and his daily activities.  Never been a "gym" guy.  I guess that'll change, at least for a while.  I want my MAN back when this is over!

We skyped with our friends in Panama today - that is the prize we are keeping our eyes on - getting down there in December.  We are hoping with all our hearts that we can still make that trip.  It'll be an  R&R trip as opposed to a get up and go trip, which is fine.  As long as we can get there. 

I am probably going to taper off with the blog pretty soon.  I'll post when there is significant news.  Does that work for everyone?  I've been told by many of you that the blog has been great to follow and keep up with Dan's progress - and I want to continue to provide that.  But, as I said, there is less and less big news and more and more of the same. 

I also feel able to talk on the phone and do individual emailing now.  So feel free to call or write me if you like. Some of you already are.  Loving the photos of kids with mohawks and fabulous long emails - kind of reminds me of the days when we wrote letters to each other.  They'd come in the mail and we'd savor them over a cup of tea.  I loved letters.  Miss them still but I'll settle for a long, newsy email. 

We have been spoiled by our friends.  Dinner brought to the boat, dinner on other peoples' boats.  Dinner at Kevin's tonight!  Yay!  An outing!  Lots of love and gifts and cards and thoughtfulness.  It's keeping us going still.

I actually let a tear slip this morning over coffee when Dan said something - one of his expressions that is so normal, so common - and I thought to myself, "it is SO good that he is sitting here, saying that, drinking coffee.  It's just so normal."  I try not to let myself think of what the alternative could have been too often but it does make me appreciate what we have right here, right now. 

Love,

Irene

HAPPY TO BE AT WORK TODAY!! Never thought I'd actually say those words out loud...

I never thought I'd be so happy to go to work.  But today is the first day in a month that I got up, talked to Dan for a little while, got dressed, put on my makeup and went to work.

Julia is with him and he has a few "assignments" such as call for more therapy appointments, get some paperwork together, etc.  Most of what he wants to do all day is lie down because it's the only position he can be in that doesn't hurt.

And it's good for his brain to just rest and heal.

But - back to me....  I am loving being at work!  It feels NORMAL!  Tomorrow Dan has a bunch of appointments so I'll be juggling that with him - luckily he'll be at UW so it's do-able for me.  I'll just catch up with him between appointments and see what I need to do to help him.

But - oh yeah - back to me...  thanks to all my wonderful friends and family, I feel pretty good.  Not too tired, not too taxed.  I have days where I kind of sink to the bottom and then I take a walk or just curl up in a ball and read or watch the sunset from the bow.  But most of the time I am feeling full and ready for whatever gets thrown my way.  The trajectory has slowed down, evened off a bit, which we were told would happen.  Dan's improvement has slowed to a plateau now and I expect the differences will be less obvious on a day-to-day basis.  But they will continue. 

How can they not?  With so many people supporting us, praying for us, pulling for us...  we can only succeed.  Thank you all!

Back to work...

Love,

Irene

Summer in Seattle

The weather has been glorious - hot and sunny.  Great wind for sailing.  Even if we can't actually sail, we can dream.  It's been healing to be near the water, feeling the sunshine.  And Dan's walks up the dock (which are good for his therapy and necessary if he is going to take a shower) are so much nicer when the sun in shining down.  Hopefully by the time the rains begin, he will be further along in the recovery process.

This weekend is the anniversary of when we met 25 years ago.  We met at Bumbershoot (for you out of towners - that's an annual music and arts festival held at the Seattle Center every Labor Day weekend).  Dan and I were both there and literally bumped into each other on the dance floor on September 1 back when we were young and hard-bodied and still had hormones.  This weekend marks a quarter of a century of being together and, I must say, I am very happy to be right where I am.  Taking care of Dan instead of missing him, you know?

Today Dan said he felt badly that we are just hanging around the boat when we could be doing something more fun.  We took a short drive, visited a friend, and then he was tired and wanted to head back.  He still sleeps a lot and the most comfortable position is lying flat on his back.  Sitting or standing or walking just hurts too dang much.  And his balance still isn't back to normal.  So he isn't all that comfortable walking for any longer distance than he has to.

Julia is looking for an apartment and I've been helping her with that.  We are looking at something bright and early Tuesday morning.  Keeping fingers crossed.  If it's a "go" she'll be moving out in the next week or two.  So that will leave Dan & me with an empty nest.  But she'll likely be in Ballard so not far away.  She starts school - getting her CNA - in the fall.  Late September.  Really excited.

Slowly life will return to a more predictable pace.  Julia moving out, me getting back to regular work schedule.  Dan in his twice-weekly therapy session days.  He may start taking the bus when his balance gets better.  But for now, we are in a holding pattern.

They said he would be on a steep uphill trajectory for a while and then plateau before heading uphill again.  I think we're seeing the plateau.  Kind of the same these last 5 days or so. 

OK - that's it for tonight.  Any questions?!

Love,

Irene

3 WEEKS TODAY

Today Dan had a full schedule of appointments.  9 am, 11 am, 1 pm.  I worked during the first appointment and then a little bit in between the others.  But I needed to accompany Dan to the two afternoon appointments.  It's important for me to be there to either confirm what Dan is saying or give my impression if it differs.

We found out today that the pain in his left chest/shoulder area is the result of 3 additional broken ribs.  That's a total of SIX broken ribs.  Ouch.  No wonder he has been having trouble lifting his left arm or using it for any holding, eating, etc.  The thing is, they took an x-ray back when we were at Harborview and they didn't seem to notice the ribs - just determined that the shoulder was normal.  It's visible on the x-ray that the ribs are separated under the arm area.

Wow.

So - he is going to be in regular therapy at this point for quite a while - probably into December.  The doctors are great, the therapists are gifted, and we know we are in very good hands.

I am so thankful to all of you who are reading this blog and keeping up with us.  I am starting to see my way to being able to make phone calls and get caught up.  In the meanwhile, please email me and let me know how you are, what you are up to, what's going on in your life!  I want to know.  Just don't have a lot of phone energy these days.

Tell us some stories that we can think about and talk about instead of the obsessive things that have been going on in our lives for the last 3 weeks.

My email:  hopkinsirene23@gmail.com
Dan's:  hopkins61@gmail.com

What a lot of things have happened in 3 weeks!

Love,

Irene

Our New Normal

As you can see, the posts are slowing down. 

We are in the process of settling into a routine of outpatient rehabilitation.  Appointments are mostly on Tuesdays and Thursdays and, as important as they are for his healing, they do take their toll on Dan.  He is very tired after about 45 minutes and begins to lose focus.  He naps about 3-4 hours every day - sometimes in shifts, sometimes all at once.  The brain shuts down in order to heal, I guess.  And the pain from his ribs is exhausting.  So he sleeps whenever he can.

The problem is that on appointment days, he has to push through.  Tomorrow he has a 9:00, an 11:00, and a 1:00 - so he won't even get home until after 2 which is usually deep into his nap time.  I won't expect to see him after that until dinner time. 

On his appointment days, I am at work so that I can go with him if I am needed (which I was in the beginning) or if I want to.  Julia drives him over and drops him off or he goes in with me.  Pretty soon, however he gets there, he'll be going to his appointments and I will work, meeting up with him between appointments to check in.  It's so convenient having him at UWMC.

We are ready for visitors at last.  If you would like to come, give me a call.  I have to stress that visits should be limited to one hour tops.  He starts to fade and it's best to leave before that happens.  I am getting pretty good at reading the subtle signs.

Hopefully this won't last forever.  I am very hopeful that in time we will be increasing visiting times but for now, let me know if you want to come and we'll make a plan.

Thanks for everything and especially for your understanding.

Remember:  Gratitude is the attitude.  Love each other, overlook the petty stuff, keep your face toward the sun.  It's shining pretty brightly these days.

Love,

Irene

WELCOME HOME DAN

Sorry to be silent for a while.  It's been a very busy few days.

Dan was discharged on Saturday!  Not all better, not out of jail yet.   We are home, but he is now considered an outpatient with a full dance card of appointments that will keep our schedule packed.  In fact, we are working this morning to put things on the calendar (part of his therapy) and figure out how to make it all work with my schedule and Sarah & Julia backing me up.

He is not allowed to drive or work for a while - to be determined.  He must have 24 hour supervision for at least 3 weeks.

So - you can see that there has been a lot to do to get organized.

Also, we have had to make modifications to our particular living situation to make it more comfortable and accessible for Dan.

He still has rib pain appropriate for 2 out of 6 weeks healing time.  It's hard to watch him navigate around the boat, clearly struggling with the pain.  And my "no-narcotics, no addiction" husband has relented to the prescribed dosage of pain meds which tells me a lot about the level of his pain.  If you know Dan, you know it must hurt something awful for him to take meds for it.

Cognitively - well - it depends on the time of day.

His therapy will be a combination of Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy and Counseling, and Speech (Cognitive) Therapy.

At a welcome home gathering on the dock the Saturday afternoon, I raised a glass in thanksgiving for the fact that Dan is home.  This could very easily have been a different kind of gathering.  So many of you have acknowledged this fact to me.  I think we have all learned how precious life is - how easily it can turn on us.  How in one moment it can all change.

Cherish it.  Cherish each other.  Be grateful for what is.

Love,

Irene

Thursday - 2 Weeks Today

One day at a time as they say.  Hard to believe that 2 weeks ago today, at just about this time, Dan was getting ready to do some work on our boat and needed a couple of parts to begin the job.  He laid out his tools, took off the hatch to the battery compartment, got everything set to go and then hopped on his scooter to get the parts he needed.

And that was the last time he was home.

Dan has been through a rigorous routine of therapies and they are lining things up for his discharge.   He is utterly exhausted at the end of each day because he barely gets a break.  And then at night, his rib pain is such that he can't sleep well.  The bed is not his bed, and he is tired of being here, so discharge will be good news, in a way.  But when that happens (and I'm nervous about that, to be honest), he will have a full dance card of outpatient appointments both for rehabilitation of his body and of his brain.   The brain part especially will be an intensive program, per doctor recommendations.

We have been told that he needs 24 hour supervision for about 3 weeks.  So I'm working on that.

Listen to me and hear me well.  DON'T TALK ON YOUR CELL PHONE WHEN YOU ARE DRIVING!  I have no idea of the situation regarding Dan's accident and if that was a factor.  That's not my point here.  But I have been told by the detective on our case that if someone is in an accident and it is discovered that a cell phone was involved, the charge can go up to a felony. 

Driving is serious business. Pay attention, don't get into competition, don't hurry, be safe. 

That's my lecture for the day.

Again - thank you all - family and friends - for everything.

Love,

Irene

Reality Check

I spent all day at the hospital yesterday.  Dan and I had a nice day together.  He slept on and off.  We managed to catch a little bit of sunshine, getting a wheelchair pass and stepping out the door into the fresh air for the first time (for Dan) in 10 days or so.  It felt so good and Dan was clearly into it.  But when we got back to the room he went deep into sleep and slept through his dinner tray arriving.

Today began a week of intensive daily therapies.  I go back to work tomorrow and will be just a few floors below him so will be able to go up to say hi and check in.  There is a meeting of his entire team of doctors, nurses and therapists tomorrow around 2 which I've been asked to attend.  Kevin will probably join me for that as a second pair of ears.  Or third if you count Dan's!

Lastly, I want to let you know that my lack of response to emails, phone calls, texts, etc., is not personal.  I have to be careful about how much time I spend on the phone or emailing because I am trying to get my own strength back and preserve my energy.  The "no visitors" restriction is for Dan's good.  He is exhausted and his brain injury is serious.  The best therapy for his healing is to rest,  to only be stimulated in the way the pro's want to stimulate him for therapeutic reasons.  Visitors (other than family) put a strain on him at this point.   So please don't be hurt or take any of this personally.

I appreciate all that you are doing, praying, thinking, sending - all the love.  But we need to maintain his safe, quiet place for a bit longer.

Thanks for understanding.

Love,

Irene

Too tired to think of a title for this entry...

So tired.  Haven't had time to post for a bit, simply because of fatigue.

Dan is still really tired and sleeps after the slightest exertion.  I know they say this will take a while but I'm impatient.   Gotta take some deep breaths and wait this out.

Tomorrow (Monday) starts an intense week of therapy.  I am hoping we see some improvement this week.  The brain is a fascinating organ.  It is so delicate and a jarring like Dan's brain experienced has jostled him up in a way that is at times an exaggeration of who he is, at others someone I don't recognize.

Patience is my goal this week.  Patience and hope.

Thanks for everything, everyone.

Love,

Irene

All you need is LOVE. (And some really good doctors, nurses, physical therapists, occupational therapists, speech therapists.)

I'm sitting on the boat, sun streaming in, salt air making its way through the hatches, drinking a strong cup of coffee and - other than the fact that I have to deal with a stack of papers from insurance companies (3 of them); police reports; medical release forms; witness emails; communications to and from the detective on our case; receipts...  I feel normal!  Slept like a log last night for 10 hours straight.

But that's enough about me.

Julia is getting some rest now, too, finally.  She and I have been joined at the hip ever since I came home.  Sarah is spending more time over there now that she is able to.  We are a good team.  We have a lot of hope and are working on maintaining that.

Dan had a busy day yesterday.  He had PT from 9-10; OT from 11-12; PT class from 1:30 - 2:30; Speech Therapy from 3 - 4.  He did great in PT except the class - you know he's not a "class" kind of guy and he hated that.  Also did not understand why the speech therapists were making him draw lines and answer ridiculous questions.  He was really annoyed by that.  I won't tell you everything he said about it...  but those of you who know him well can imagine.

One thing for sure, though.  His sense of humor is intact.  Fully.  It is a little extreme at times - but it's there.

The docs are expecting a full recovery.  I'm hoping that he'll be even better than before he had the accident.  "Can you get his biceps up to where they were when I met him?"  "Can you get his hair to grow back?"  "How about rewiring his brain to buy me flowers on a regular basis like he used to?"  "Oh - and can you embed in his brain that Boat Street Cafe is my favorite restaurant?"

But enough about me.

One thing I will say...  there are so many good things that are happening as a result of this awful experience.  There is nothing like coming close to losing someone or something to make you realize how good you have it.  The little annoyances that can crop up between people who have been married as long as we have suddenly become precious - things you miss.  Petty differences among family members, frustrations at work, things that you find yourself complaining about totally lose their significance at a time like this.  Selfishness flies out the window.  Love floats in and takes control.  It's a strong, positive force.  My gratitude for what this is vs. what it could have been reduces me to tears on a regular basis.

I feel strong, supported, loved.  Sarah & Julia feel the same.  We are immensely aware of how blessed we are.

But enough about us.

I would ask to maintain the "no visitor" status for a little bit longer.  I promise to let you know when that changes.

Lots of LOVE,

Irene, Sarah & Julia

GRADUATION DAY

It's Friday morning, 8 am.  I slept at home last night for the first time since the accident.  The sight of the Olympics as I pulled into the parking lot just after sunset was a balm for my very tired psyche.  It felt so good to walk down the ramp, see the water, feel the air.  I love where we live.

Dan woke me up about at 7 calling to say hi and check on a couple of systems-related things on the boat.   Ha! So - that part of his brain is working just fine!

But here's the best part.  He was calling me from UW Medical Center's In-patient Rehab Unit!  Yes indeedy.  Yesterday, Thursday, at 6 am, we were awakened by "GOOD MORNING MR. HOPKINS." I opened my eyes to four white-coated doctors standing in a semi-circle around Dan's bed.   One of them told us they had secured a bed at UWMC and Dan would be moving over there by afternoon.  I could have cried with relief a) that they feel him well enough to do that and, b) that we will be at UWMC.  That was worth being woken up for, but can I just say, 6AM?  REALLY?

During breakfast the detective assigned to our case visited, bringing Dan a few things from the crash scene that he thought we might want (his hat and a lock).  We talked for about 30 minutes but I can't reveal any of the details of the investigation.  He advised me not to be in touch with witnesses and so I'm keeping quiet until the investigation is over and we have all the results.  But I will say, Dan is not in any way at fault.

After showering (where we discovered a rash that has spread all over his body - heat rash?  Not sure...), I started packing.  Loaded up bags with things that had accumulated during the week, gave flowers to other patients I had gotten to know.  Chuck got one bouquet, the lady from the waiting room got another....  So those of you who sent flowers, know that they served more than one purpose.

We were told to leave Harborview sometime after 1.  Around 2:15 after Dan had lunch, and Julia and I ate food Aileen brought us, the discharge coordinator came rushing in saying she was sorry but we were supposed to BE at UWMC at 1 and that they might give our bed away if we didn't get there soon.

Let's skip the part where I gave them my FEEDBACK on the misinformation....

Warp Speed.  On my mark.  Engage!   I helped Dan into his street clothes; Julia and Aileen packed the last few things; we signed discharge papers; got a wheelchair ordered for discharge. We were out of there in 10 minutes!  Thank you Aileen and Julia! It had been determined that he didn't qualify for a Cabulance ride (although the day before I had been told that he was "impulsive; had problems with balance; had dizziness issues").  WHAT-EVER... So Julia pulled the car around,  a transporter helped me get him and all our stuff down to the main entrance, Aileen helped us load up the car and then we got Dan into the front seat and headed over to UWMC with Aileen following us.

Arrived at UWMC.  My second home.   For those of you who don't know, I have worked there for 24 years and my department co-runs the transport services for the medical center.  My co-worker arranged for three guys from the Lift Team to meet us outside the hospital and help get Dan into a wheelchair.  A couple of my office mates were on hand for long, hard hugs.  It felt so, so good to be there.

We got to the room around 3 or 3:30 and almost immediately there began a battery of tests and evaluations.  Julia, Sarah and Aileen were there so I had back up for my tired brain.  The docs and Physical Therapist all thought he was in remarkably good shape and that boded well for his recovery.  They anticipate him being there for 1-2 weeks.

Dan is determined to get out asap.  He will be having intensive therapy, both one on one and in group class situations.  He will have a combo of Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy and Speech Therapy (which is for his brain function as opposed to his speech which is fine).  His goal:  Physical.  My goal (because I have no doubt about his ability to get the physical part back together):  Cognitive.  Again, his intelligence shines through and is impressing everyone.  The docs all say they can see what an intelligent, analytical man he is.  His main problem is tracking, staying on topic, but we can see him working hard to make connections.  He is one determined guy.

The room is beautiful, has a view looking west, is right near nurse's station so they can keep an eye on him when I'm not there, the food is incredible, and, the cream on top is that he doesn't have a room-mate.  As Kevin said, "You're at the Ritz now, Dan."  That works for me.  As they say, "You can take the girl out of Scarsdale..."

Best of all, though, he is now in the #3 Rehab Facility in the entire nation.  Over and over, UWMC is rated in the top 3 nationally so I feel an enormous sense of relief in that.  Aileen said my face changed visibly as we began to settle in...

After going back and forth as to whether or not to stay with him, I decided to go home.  I need sleep, I need to be with Julia.  I trust the staff at UWMC so thoroughly and Dan was encouraging me to go home.  Aileen and I went out to dinner and then I went to the boat and got clothes for Dan so he would be ready for PT this morning at 9. 

Ran into a couple of dock buddies - what a fabulous community we have down here at Shilshole.  One of our neighbors, Christi, walked me up the dock as I was on the way back to UW with Dan's clothes.  By the time we got up the ramp, Christi said she would drive me over.  Thank you, Christi.  I am hyper aware of bad drivers and don't want to be responsible for hurting anyone due to impaired judgment and fatigue.

Julia has been a champ all week.  Give her a hug if you see her.  She needs it.  Sarah is stepping in today.  She has been working and moving and so busy but she will be with Dan over the weekend and giving us a break.

I am still discouraging visitors for just a bit longer.  I'll let you know via this blog when that changes.  He will be tired and needing rest between therapies.

OK - enough for now.  Thank you all for your love and caring.


Much love,

Irene, Sarah & Julia

Our One Week Anniversary

Day 7.  One week.  Wednesday.

I couldn't remember what day it was as I started writing this.  I asked Dan and HE told ME!  "It's Wednesday." That's a far cry from thinking it was 1935 which is what he was saying in the ICU.

In some ways it feels like we just got here, in other ways it feels like we have lived here forever.  I know where the linen closet is and I help myself.  I know most of the staff now and Dan has many fans.  He keeps the girls laughing and the guys think he's really cool.

Today was fantastic.  After a long night of wakefulness and constant disturbance as our neighbor was evaluated through the night (lights on, loud talking, laughing, banging around), when I finally fell asleep, Dan took charge.  He got up by himself, walked across the room, closed the window, took off his hospital duds and put on his mother's sweater which Julia wears and had left here overnight.

Ok - that's great you're thinking, right?  Well, on one hand it is.  But on the other he is still a fall risk, gets dizzy, does not have his cognition back yet and so it is extremely dangerous.  If he were to fall, he could hit his head, start his brain bleeding again, break any number of bones and not be discovered for a while.  That would be an unbearable setback.

He did something similar when Julia and I were down the hall drinking a cup of coffee.

So he got a good scolding today from Julia, me and his Occupational Therapist.  He didn't like it but I think he gets it now.  But tonight:  Bed Alarm is On!

Biggies today:  Shower.  Rehab evaluation.  OT training to use the bathroom and brush his teeth - SAFELY.  He only took a couple of short naps so hopefully will sleep tonight.  Read Newsweek.  Watched a movie.  Got the word that they are working on discharging him to Rehab (keep fingers crossed for UW).  So we feel really good tonight.

Kevin (Dan's brother) is back in town and has been  amazingly helpful in getting the business end of this together.  He is the one who found the Fremont blog and that is where all the best witnesses have come from.  Even now more witnesses are stepping forward.  People are amazing.  Kevin has been helping me keep my head on straight as far as insurance, rehab facilities, police reports, medical records requests, etc.  He went down to the police station for the report and got that rolling.   Between Aileen, Kevin and Joe this has been really coming together.

I talked to a couple of women in the waiting room today.  Both are here because of motorcycle accidents.  One is here with her husband who has been in for a month -- 2 weeks in ICU and 2 weeks here on the Trauma floor.  The other is here for her son who has been in and out for a long time.  In all of our cases, it was the other driver's fault.  We comforted each other, compared notes, one woman cried a little from fatigue and worry and missing her husband and then we pinkie swore to never allow motorcycles or scooters under our men's butts again.  Again - it's the other drivers who really have to be considered.  We seem to live in a city of crazy, distracted people who are on cell phones, texting, trying to get ahead, beat the other guy, look at signs, stores, babies in back seats...  Driving is serious business and I think we've all become too lax in our attitude on the road.

Again, thanks for cards, calls, emails.  I can't answer them all, but just seeing them makes us feel so good.  As problems go, having too many emails and phone calls to respond to is a pretty good one. And it's been the best medicine of all.

We Gotta Get Outta This Place (8/16 - Day Six)

First things first.  We have a new roomie!  Van went back to Montana this morning.  Left around 6 a.m.  Now we have a new guy.  Let's call him "Chuck."  He was admitted today and spent most of the afternoon having psyc evaluations.  Not a bad guy, but quite unwell upstairs.  So it's me, Dan & Chuck, all cuddled up together having a sleepover.  This is the closest I've ever come to a three-way.  So far it's very disappointing.  Not sure what the big deal is.

Dan was up most of last night - until about 4 a.m.   He was very anxious and in pain and restless.  He wanted out.  Wanted to figure out "How the system works and then how to beat it."  I knew he was in there and I knew what he was doing.  But it made for a long, long night.  Lots of trips down to the nurse station to ask for help repositioning him, changing, getting warm blankets.  Oh well.  For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, right?

Up at 8.  Doctors in checking on progress, nurses changing shifts, lots of activity.  Dan had breakfast and ate heartily and then he was helped into a chair which I wheeled to a skybridge where we sat and looked at Mt. Rainier.  He was so happy to have a change of scenery!  But still scheming how we could get out of here and get back to the boat.

PT came in - a great gal named Beth - and got him up and walking after lunch.  50 feet!  Down the hall and back.  Such determination.  Amazing.  All the HA's were cheering for him in the hall when they saw him.  

The cognitive evaluation they did today resulted in a decision to keep him here a bit longer, although they had been pushing for discharge to a nursing facility in the next day or so.  His intelligence is shining through as he is evaluated.  When asked a series of yes or no questions, he considered and said, "well, that is not a clear yes or no because it depends on the situation and the circumstances."  When read a paragraph and then asked to repeat the events, he gave an analysis of what happened, what should have happened, who was clearly together in the story and who was lacking...  All of you who know him, know that this is how he is.  He will assess, analyze, decipher, discern, and then comment on a situation.  But it was not what they were looking for and so he is here for a little while longer.  And I am glad of that.   I think it's what he needs.

The next step when we get out of here will be an in-patient rehab facility.  I'm pushing for UWMC so I can work while he is an inpatient.

His ribs will take 6 weeks to heal.  His brain could take up to 6 months.  So we need my income.

But that's fine!  Because he's alive!  And he is walking!  And he will be okay eventually.

Today I got some news on the accident.  The woman who hit him was making a left hand turn from the right lane heading north on the Fremont Bridge.  I repeat.  A left hand turn from the right hand lane.  Loads of witnesses corroborate this, the police detective called me today and we talked for a long time about it. She has insurance and we should be fine long-term.  Phew.

Julia and I went out to dinner while Joe (our nephew) stayed with Dan.  He has to have 24 hour supervision.  While we ate there were a few times where I thought I saw a huge spider crawling on me.  Sleep deprivation is a bad thing for the mind....  Julia took care of me though.  Searched the floor for the spider and assured me that it was not there.

Thanks for flowers, cards, emails, voicemails, all the love you are sending our way.  It helps so, so much.  And it's working.  Because he is getting better.

Check out the Fremont blog if you want to.  So many comments and words of support from caring strangers who saw the accident.  So heartening.

OK - gotta get back to Dan & Chuck.  They await my services.  Hopefully I'll get a little sleep tonight!

Love,

Irene

August 15, Day What?

We are watching Antiques Road Show.  Dan is into it.  He loves antiques and is appraising and assessing each item.

It's been a long day but a good one.  Dan had a rough night (ergo, so did I).   This morning he had a headache, was a bit confused.  But I've been told that his confusion will wax and wane and not to be upset by it.  It's hard sometimes, though, because I'm used to Dan being one way and I don't recognize this version of him...  but he has had enough lucid moments today that I'm feeling encouraged.

It's most important not to overstimulate him and not to worry him.  Positive, clear, happy, everything-is-under-control attitude is essential.

He wants out of here. Told me today that "We are leaving TODAY."  Asked me if we had our car here and when I asked why he wanted to know he said, "I want to know what our transportation options are because we are leaving."

After a good breakfast of hot eggs, yogurt, applesauce which he ate with determination, PT came in and got him up on his feet today.  HOORAY!  He looked so tall and it was incredibly good to see him upright.  He did a few exercises in that position and then, with help, pivoted and sat down in a chair.  I read to him from Anne Lamott's Traveling Mercies and we laughed, as did the nurse changing his bed.   Next, OT came and got him out of the chair after doing a bunch of tests.  When he got back on the bed he vomited.  Too much activity?  Too much pain?  More brain trouble?  After consulting with the doctor we determined that it was the first two.

Aileen and Julia conspired to get me out of here today which I did for 3 + hours.  Lunch, gym, TJ's.  Felt so good to feel the sun and breathe real air...    Sarah was here when we got back and so he had all his girls around him.

The general idea from here is work like crazy to get out of here and then it'll likely be a skilled nursing facility and then an inpatient rehab situation.  It's gonna be a haul.

Your support and emails and posts and phone calls (which I don't answer because I just can't) mean so much to us all.

Before I close I have to tell you one thing.  When I called for a warm blanket tonight, the aid who brought it in was so nice.  Dan said, "Could we get one for my wife, too?"  I smiled at him and he said, "I'm looking out for my woman."  What a guy.

Too tired to write well or more.  So that's it for now.

What the Hell Happened to My Scooter?

One of the first things out of Dan's mouth this morning was, "So.  What condition is my scooter in?"  When I told him it was totaled, he sort of grunted.  I told him a little about the accident, asking him where he had been going on his scooter, reminding him that he had been working on the boat.  He thought for a bit and then said, "Oh yeah - Boat Electric."  So now I know for sure that he was heading over the Fremont Bridge for Westlake.

I told him about the Fremont Blog and the photos.

A little bit later on, he was sitting up in a chair and eating his breakfast (cold scrambled eggs).  After an impressive try at eating, he proclaimed, "Enough of this mush.  Show me the pictures." Which I did.  He called on the Lord several times when viewing the photos.  Those of you who know Dan well, know what a religious man he is so I am sure you can envision this prayerful scenario.

Here's the good news today - he is much more alert.  Much more conversant.  Much more himself.  Great sense of humor, lapsing into goofy from time to time.

The doc told me today to expect a wide range of emotions and behavior.  Normal for this type of brain injury which she termed "serious."  And she told me it could take up to 6 months for him to be his old self again.

Yikes.

Dan & Van

Day 3, August 13.  

Ahhhh....   family sleep accommodations in hospitals.  A chair that folds out in 3 sections with cracks in between each section.  Scrounged up sheets and thin white blankets.  Sleeping next to the a/c with a fleece and socks and the blankets over my head.  Nurses coming in all night checking on Dan and our room-mate.  Yes - that's right. A room-mate and his daughter.   4 of us in this little space with lights going on all night long and noise and talking.


We are sharing a room with an older gentleman from Montana named Van.  He and his daughter who is older than I and has 25 grandchildren of her own (!) are very nice and we are making it work as best we can, giving each other privacy with curtains and averted eyes.  Dan was not too alert as a result of some fairly strong pain med the night before.  When he came to, every time Van's nurse said "Van," Dan answered and every time our nurse said, "Dan," Van answered.  I kept expecting Jack Nicholson to walk in...

I'm writing this late at night on the 14th (Sunday).  First chance I've had.  Yesterday was tough.  He was really sleepy and I wasn't getting good answers from the nurses or docs.  We got him up in a chair but he kept dozing off.  I finally channeled my NY and started demanding a doctor come talk to me, asking for results of the CT scan from the night before, and got the staff hopping a bit.  They are all great - each and every one of the nurses on this unit.  But they are busy, overworked and dealing with cramped conditions.  So, being an advocate for Dan is really important now.  That's what I learned yesterday.

By evening he was waking up a bit and we were seeing glimmers of his old self.  When Sarah & Julia are here he really comes to.  Responds to them in a way that gives me a heart burst (Sarah's phrase).



  

DAY 2 - ICU

OK.  Let's get you all caught up.

Dan was moved to the ICU around 8 pm on Thursday night.  We waited for them to set him up and then went in with him - but only 2 at a time.  Seeing him in that big bed with all those machines around him was surreal. Most weren't hooked up but they were ready.   As ICU patients go, he was definitely on the low end of scary.  The guy next to us had been in a motorcycle accident and was barely alive.  We were counting our blessings and realizing that, although not out of the woods yet in terms of the brain injury, we were extremely lucky.  He was not on life support, breathing room air (as opposed to ventilator), not hooked up to beeping, buzzing machines, etc.

His cognition was shaky.  Didn't know where he was, what year it was, when asked who was the President, he said, "Bozo the Clown."  Attempt to make us laugh?  Political commentary?  Probably both.  He also told the ER staff that his wife was "Bozo the Clown," so somehow Bozo was there with him on several fronts.

He has always used humor to lessen our worries and to protect us from going to the dark place in difficult situations.  So I felt a glimmer of hope seeing that that was intact.  I knew he was in there trying to surface and trying to calm us at the same time.

To make a long story short, Julia and I had gone home to sleep but were back on the ICU by 6 a.m. Friday morning, hoping to catch the neurological team on their morning rounds.   They showed up around 8.  Still watching brain bleed...  He was in the ICU all day.  The nurses were busy with so many other, sicker patients.  It was frustrating because he was really agitated and wanted to get up and get out of there and wanted his catheter out and ended up dislodging one of his IV's and bleeding all over the place.  I ended up rifling through drawers finding tape and reattaching the bandage on his arm.   Do I get a discount for that?

By mid-afternoon we were told that they were releasing him to the acute trauma floor which they did just as his dinner tray was served.  He had a swallow test early in the day and because of his difficulty, he was served minced turkey and mashed potatoes which he had just started eating when they came to move him.

We waved a fond farewell to ICU and headed down to our new home.

So....

I'm going to get caught up with the story and then can move into the "keeping you posted" phase.

So...

The ER team was clear before I even arrived that they were admitting him. (Dan DID tell me that accurately on the phone.) When I got there and started bull-nosing my way to more information - both giving them info on Dan and getting info from them, I learned that he would be in ICU.  The Neuro team came with his x-rays showing brain bleeds in two places on the left side.  They let me know all the worries (stroke, serious brain damage, etc.) but expressed optimism.  I felt fairly good - kept thinking "well - that's for someone else, not Dan."  Sarah & Julia and Aileen were there by this time and we were all trying to register what was happening.

Finally, after 7 freakin' hours, they moved him up to the ICU for what they told me would likely be 3 days.  They made us wait in the waiting room while they worked on him for a little while.  Excruciating wait even though it was only a half hour...

Eventually we realized we were hungry and so the girls went for food and when they got back we ate in the waiting area, taking turns being with Dan.  Joe (our nephew, S&J's cousin) came and hung with us for a while and went back to see Dan but he was not alert at all.

After debating for a while, I went home to sleep - no place to sleep in ICU and the waiting room was too brightly lit and public.  However, the vise-like grip around my heart made sleep hard to come by so I got up, did dishes, packed a bag for the next day, tidied, wrote emails, etc.  Finally hit the wall around 3 and slept until my alarm went off at 5 and Julia and I headed back to the hospital.

It's now really late and I can't write anymore so stay tuned for DAY 2 - ICU.

Love,

Irene, Sarah & Julia

What happened...

What happened?  I wish I knew.  All I have are bits and pieces given to me by witnesses to the accident and medical personnel who attended him initially.

On Thursday, mid-day, Dan was heading south, over the Fremont Bridge.  The light was green and he had the right of way.  I don't know where he was going but when I got home late that night, there were tools all over the boat and he was clearly working on some electrical and battery-related stuff as he told me he would be when I left for work that morning.

A car heading in the opposite direction, made a left turn and for some reason didn't see Dan and hit him hard, denting the front of the car pretty impressively.  Dan was thown off his scooter and landed 40 feet away.  For those of you who might be challenged to think what 40 feet looks like, our boat is 42 feet.  It's far. His scooter ended up in the middle of the intersection, bashed, broken, wheel off, totaled.  Reports I've heard from witnesses say people rushed to Dan and attended to him until the medics came.  Police roped off the area and it was quite a scene.  The link below will give you some idea and show you some photos.

http://www.fremontuniverse.com/

Fortunately no one else was hurt.

I received a call shortly after 3:00.  Dan was on the phone, calling from a strange phone number (not his cell) and told me his scooter had been "crunched" and he was in Ballard/Swedish hospital.  I rushed there only to find they had no record of him.  I tried to call back the number but there was no answer.  Tried his cell.  No answer.  Tried the number again.  Finally a nurse picked up, answering "Harborview ER."  That was one question answered.  She then put Dan on.   I started asking him questions, "Is anything broken?  Are you on meds?" Etc. He said no - nothing is broken.  Didn't know what happened.  Didn't know if he was on meds.   Finally the nurses started getting hip to the fact that he had no idea what was going on and got on the phone with me.  I told them that he sounded really odd and they agreed to order a CT (brain) scan.  I then began to panic, called the girls and Aileen. 

Made my way to Harborview slowly because of rush hour traffic.  So frustrating!  Got to the ER and Dan was having his scan.  Came back and - wow - his face was bloody and bruised.  He had road rash on his back and legs and butt.  Three ribs broken (7, 8 & 9, left side for you nurses in the club).  The worst thing - for me - is his disorientation.  The CT scan came back showing a brain bleed so the Neuro team watched him pretty carefully (so far, no improvement - but not worse either.)

I'm going to post this now and finish it later so you can at least start getting caught up.

We are fine.  Julia & Sarah are amazing.  Aileen is our rock.

And all of you, our dear, dear friends and family, are the thing keeping us all going.  Thanks for the love, prayers, good wishes, caring.  KEEP IT COMING PLEASE!

p.s.  no visitors for now.  family only.  thanks.